Senior Celebration Brunch

Statement of The Honorable Mike Doyle

Edgewood Foundation Graduating Senior Brunch

Edgewood Club

May 7, 2006

Thank you.

It's a pleasure to be here with you to celebrate this important turning point in the lives of the graduating seniors we're honoring here today.

I grew up in this area. That was a long time ago - longer than I'd like to admit - but I still remember quite clearly what it was like to grow up in the east end. Many things have changed since then, but I doubt that it's changed that much in terms of the things that really matter. So I think that I can empathize with you as well as with your parents, and I remember how I felt when I experienced this major turning point in my life.

Make no mistake about it - graduation from high school is a major turning point in your life. You're now officially an adult. And whether your next step is a job or further education, you're about to enter an important and fundamentally different stage of your life.

You're about to discover that you've got more freedom, more choices, and….yes…more responsibility. Up until now, you've pretty much only been required to show up in the same place, Monday through Friday, and do what you were told. You didn't have a whole lot of choices. Now, you're going to get to choose where to show up, Monday through Friday, and who tells you what to do! Okay, maybe it doesn't sound that much different….but as any adult can tell you there's actually a world of difference.

Seriously, though, you're going to have a lot more opportunity to make your own decisions and follow your dream, and with that freedom comes a host of choices you'll have to make - each of which has its consequences.

I don't say that to scare you. Many of the consequences are positive and they're the well-deserved rewards for good judgment and hard work. And I'm sure that your parents have already told you - repeatedly! - over the last 16, 17, or 18 years, that poor choices produce undesirable consequences. That's a parent's job, by the way - to teach and nurture you in your childhood so that as an adult, you make decisions that benefit you.

I think I speak for all parents who've seen their children graduate from high school and take up the mantle of adulthood when I say that we've done everything we could possibly think of to prepare you well for your adult life. None of us was a perfect parent. No one on this planet will ever be a perfect parent, not even you. But we all do the best we can. As many of you will learn at some point in your lives, being a parent is possibly the toughest, most challenging, most demanding, most frustrating, and most rewarding job you'll ever have - and you wouldn't trade it for the world.

What you may also discover for yourself someday is that one of the hardest parts of the job for many parents is letting go when your child becomes an adult. I've got three grown children and one finishing up high school, so I've had a fair amount of experience with this part of the relationship. I can assure you that your parents watch and pray, trying to stay out of the way, hoping that they've done a good enough job and that you will have happy and productive lives. So don't forget to thank your parents today for all of their hard work and sacrifice, and cut them a little slack if they have trouble kicking some of their old habits. That way you won't feel quite so embarrassed when you become a parent and you have to work your way through the other side of this complex relationship.

I can assure you graduates that regardless of whether you start a new job or go off to school, your parents will continue to worry about you 24-7. That's our responsibility.

And parents always have mixed feelings about this big transition. We're worried, excited, sad, proud, and - yes! - maybe a little relieved to see you leaving the nest and spreading your wings.

But never doubt for one second that your parents want only the best for you - a life full of happiness and free from adversity. The catch is that they can't tell you how to achieve that and they can't make it happen for you. No one can. They've done the best they could over the last decade or so to prepare you to face life's challenges. Now, it's all up to you.

Some of you may have already thought about what you want to do with your lives. Some of you may not yet have begun thinking about what you want to do next. Either way, it's okay. You've got your whole life ahead of you.

Your parents may want to kill me for saying this, but you've got time to try different majors in college and even different careers. You've got time to change course radically a couple of times and still lead a rewarding and professionally successful life. For good or for ill, with something close to 50 years of work ahead of you, you've got plenty of time to make some mistakes, recover, and try something else. In fact, it's estimated that the average American high school graduate today will have five different careers over the course of a lifetime - and many times that number of jobs. With all the crazy things going on in the world today, the smartest thing you can do is learn to expect and embrace change.

One of the greatest things about this country is that it offers so many opportunities and so many second chances. You really are limited only by your abilities and your expectations.

So while I won't presume to tell you what to do with your lives, I do want to encourage you to think about a couple of things as you make your decisions along the way.

First, set your goals and expectations high. Don't be afraid to over-reach. And don't be afraid to follow your dreams. Statistically, most of you will marry, buy houses, and have children some time in your late 20s or early 30s. Those things all require massive amounts of money and time. Consequently, they tend to limit your options. Practically speaking, the only time you can really count on having the freedom to follow your dream is when you're young and still relatively unencumbered by financial obligations and other commitments. So I urge you to take advantage of this unique time in your life, before that opportunity slips away from you.

Moreover, I want you to understand that you need to follow YOUR dream. You'll be a lot happier if you do. Nothing can break your spirit faster than working at some job you really hate day after day and year after year with no end in sight. Don't let your family dictate your choices. And don't compare yourself to others or worry about what your friends think of your choices. It's your life. You've got to live through every moment of it, and you've got to be comfortable with the choices you've made.

And remember, Pittsburgh is a big city. America is a big country. And the world economy is now global with few international barriers. No matter how unique your dream, or how unusual the vocation you choose to pursue, odds are there's substantial support for it if you can just figure out how to market yourself. And keep in mind - the more singular your choice of vocation, the less competition you are likely to encounter!

Whatever choices you make, you can always be assured of your parents' love, no matter how high you climb or, God forbid, how low you fall. And, as I said earlier, even if you fall flat on your face and fail miserably, you get a second chance, and a third chance, and a fourth chance to succeed in this country.

I can assure you that the years following my high school graduation were exciting and invigorating times - with fun and fear in about equal proportions. The great thing about the choices I made in my adult life is that, in ways that I never would have foreseen thirty-some years ago, they've led me to a job I love and find incredibly rewarding. Let me assure you that, when I was your age I didn't dream about becoming a Member of Congress. I didn't sketch out every step of a decades-long plan for achieving that goal. But I didn't let myself - or others - limit my aspirations, either. I chose a major in college that interested me, and then after I got my bachelor's degee, I pursued a number of jobs that, somewhat unexpectedly, led me here.

And that brings me to another important point. There's not one right choice. Would I have been just as happy had I pursued a course in business or academia? Probably. I'll bet that's the same for most of you. Most of us are probably better suited for some careers than others. We all have different interests and aptitudes than those around us. That being said, there are probably a number of careers or college majors that you would find satisfying and rewarding. I encourage you to think deeply about the possibilities - and especially the long shots - at this point in your life.

As you think about what you want from life, I want to encourage you to remember that you have certain societal responsibilities as well. As I mentioned earlier, this country is remarkable in the amount of freedom and opportunity it offers people. Similarly, most - not all, certainly, but most - of the responsibilities it places on you are voluntary. Yes, we all know about taxes and jury duty, the most basic and some have argued the most unavoidable and unpleasant responsibilities. But I want to take this opportunity to remind you that our civil society would fall apart and lack much of its current vitality if it weren't for the fact that millions of Americans across this great country step up to the plate every day and voluntarily serve their communities in order to make life better for all of us. Many just want to give something back as a way of expressing their gratitude for the bounty they've received. But many also understand that we all have a fundamental obligation to each other - and to everyone in society. I respectfully submit to you that as you go through life, you will find that such civic engagement can be incredibly rewarding as well - even if the only reward you get is the knowledge that you've held up your end or left your community a little better off than when you entered it.

One of the most basic responsibilities I think we all have - and one of the constant factors I think you should consider in making the choices you will face in your lives - is the moral obligation to act ethically. I'm sure that all of you will grow up to be law-abiding citizens, and I don't want to understate the importance of respect for the law. But there are times when simple respect for the law just isn't enough. I think it's important for you to know that, despite what you read on-line and see on TV, most people in this country have a strong sense of what's right and what's wrong and live according to that standard. That's true of businesspeople, religious leaders, and, yes, even politicians! But you young people are part of the most media-savvy generation of all time. I don't need to impart in you a healthy dose of skepticism about the news. I'm sure that each of you understands that in a fiercely competitive global market for eyeballs, the most sensational, most outrageous, most titillating story about celebrity misdeeds wins hands-down every time, and stories about the vast majority of Americans living quiet lives of dignity and integrity don't win awards for bloggers or investigative reporters. Knowledge is power. Be informed. Learn to separate fact from fiction and to keep facts in perspective. And hold yourself and others to a high standard.

And that brings me to my final point. Soon, most of you will leave home. In any case, all of you will experience new situations and new and different people. This country is huge and incredibly diverse. As you find yourself thrust into new situations and meet people with whom you may have little in common, I encourage you to constantly exercise tolerance and humility. America has benefited greatly from its diversity and its culture of tolerance and peaceful coexistence. This country was founded on the notion that people should be free to believe whatever they want and that our society should limit their choices as little as possible. It is our culture of live and let live that separates us from most of the world and which has, in my opinion, accounted for our government's longevity, our economic and cultural vitality, and our society's relative freedom from civil strife. Very few other countries in the world have enjoyed as much peace as ours, especially if you factor in our country's size and our population's heterogeneity. We've kept our society open and free and we've reaped tremendous benefits as a result - but it hasn't been particularly easy. It never is.

As someone who's been interested in, and actively involved in promoting peace in Northern Ireland and the Middle East, I can assure you that our ability to limit our many strong disagreements to political competition and occasionally hurtful words is a remarkable achievement seldom matched or exceeded in world history. But it's not some automatic, inherent, systemic outcome that can be taken for granted. It takes constant effort and considerable restraint on the part of everyone involved, and like the metaphorical chain, it's only as strong as its weakest link. Consequently, I want to urge you to bear this thought in mind as you venture out into the world and experience parts of our society that you may have been sheltered or insulated from so far.

As all the adults in this room can attest, when you're young you think you know everything and have all the answers. As you get older, you start to realize you may not have all the answers - and that some of the answers you have may not be right! So while I urge you to follow your dream and to stand up for what you believe in, I also hope that you'll remember that no one has all the answers, and that we all need to exercise more than a little humility and tolerance. If I had to leave you with one bit of advice, it would be the Golden Rule - do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Our society will be a much less remarkable place if my generation fails to impart that time-tested piece of wisdom to yours.

Let me close, now, by congratulating you and your parents on this landmark accomplishment and wishing you only the best as you take the next step in this great adventure called life. God bless you all.

Thank you.